Clybourne Park Page 9
(LINDSEY returns.)
LINDSEY
So sorry.
KEVIN
Everything all right?
LINDSEY
(returning KATHY’s phone)
It’s fine. It’s just, he said he was going to be in Seattle so we went ahead and scheduled this without him and now he’s feeling a little proprietary - Anyway. Blah blah.
TOM
So, we skipped ahead.
LINDSEY
Great.
TOM
To page three?
KATHY
Middle of three.
TOM
And since I think we’d all basically agree that –
STEVE
(to LINDSEY)
Hey.
(to TOM)
Sorry.
(to LINDSEY)
What’s the capital of Morocco?
LINDSEY
The what?
STEVE
The capital.
LINDSEY
What are you talking about?
STEVE
Of Morocco.
LINDSEY
Why?
STEVE
Quick. Just –
LINDSEY
I have no idea.
STEVE
Yes you do.
KATHY
I said Marrakech.
STEVE
(to KATHY)
LINDSEY
Marrakech, yeah.
No no, Let her –
STEVE
No. Rabat.
LINDSEY
Whatever.
KEVIN
(explaining to LINDSEY)
Trying to figure out what it was.
LINDSEY
Why?
STEVE
She said she went to the capital of Morocco –
LINDSEY
So?
STEVE
– and it’s not the capital.
LINDSEY
(with a shrug)
Maybe they changed it.
STEVE
(beat, then)
Who?
LINDSEY
The Moroccans.
STEVE
To what?
LINDSEY
Whatever it is now
STEVE
Which is Rabat.
LINDSEY
Okay.
TOM
So –
KATHY
Oh, wait. You know what it is? It’s Timbuktu.
STEVE
… nnnnnnno?
KATHY
The old capital. The historic— (tapping her temple) That’s why I –because it was part of our package.
STEVE
Um. Timbuktu is in Mali.
KATHY
But the ancient capital.
STEVE
Yeah. Of Mali.
LINDSEY
I thought Mali was in the Pacific.
STEVE
(baffled)
In – ?
LINDSEY
Where do they have the shadow puppets?
STEVE
(sputtering)
Are you talking about Bali?
KATHY
Same difference.
STEVE
Uhhhh, no? The difference …
LINDSEY
And who gives a shit, any - ?
(DAN has entered through the kitchen door. Work clothes, mustache, chewing gum. He lingers at a distance.)
STEVE
(continuous)
…is that they happen to be three distinct countries so, I guess I give a shit –
LINDSEY
(continuous)
Steve. Steven. It’s whatever you want it to be, okay?
LENA
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to interrupt anyone, but –
STEVE
(continuous, lowering his voice, to LINDSEY)
– and could you possibly not talk to me like a child?
LENA
(in the clear)
Excuse me?
(All turn to LENA.)
LENA
I was hoping to say something, if I could?
STEVE
(remembering)
Oh oh oh.
TOM
Right.
(to LENA)
Sorry.
(to LINDSEY)
Lena had wanted to mention something and it sounded kind of important so –
KEVIN
(to LENA)
But you don’t gotta ask permission.
LENA
I’m trying to be polite.
LINDSEY
We’re totally rude.
KEVIN
No, you’re not.
LINDSEY
It’s my family. Irish Catholic, you know? Blarney.
KATHY
(raising a hand)
Please, my husband? Half-Jewish half-Italian.
KEVIN
Is that right?
KATHY
Get a word in edgewise.
KEVIN
I believe that.
KATHY
Anyway. Lena.
LENA
Thank you.
LINDSEY
Wait. Lena, right?
LENA
Lena.
KATHY
Short for Leonora?
LENA
No.
KATHY
I knew a Leonora.
LENA
It was my aunt’s name.
LINDSEY
(reminding herself)
Anyway Lena, Kevin.
KATHY
(raising hand)
Kathy.
LINDSEY
(indicating
Kathy, Lindsey, Steve,
STEVE
And Tom.
KEVIN
Don’t forget Tom.
LINDSEY
Tom we know. So:
DAN
(from across the room)
Ding-dong?
(All turn to DAN.)
STEVE
Hey.
DAN
Hey.
STEVE
How’s it goin’?
DAN
S’there a Steve anywhere?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
You Steve?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
Hector said if there’s a problem talk to Steve.
STEVE
That’s me.
DAN
(to the others)
How ya doing?
TOM
Hey. Good.
KEVIN
Doing all right.
LENA
Fine, thank you.
DAN
Uhh …
(lowers voice, to STEVE)
Quick question?
STEVE
(a quiet sidebar)
Yeah?
DAN
So okay. So, we’re, uh, digging that trench back there, ya know?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
Out in back?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
For the conduit line?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
Know what I’m talking about?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
’Cuz before you hookup that line you gotta bury that conduit?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
And so in order to dig that trench we gotta take out that tree, right?
STEVE
Right?
DAN
Dead tree back there?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
’Cause those roots, they go down like maybe eight feet?
STEVE
Yeah?
DAN
Which is why we’re taking out that tree?
STEVE
Right?<
br />
DAN
Didja know that thing is dead?
STEVE
(rising)
Hey. Maybe we should –
(to the others)
Sorry. You guys go ahead and –
DAN
Whoops.
STEVE
(to DAN)
No no. It’s just - two things at once.
KEVIN
We can wait.
STEVE
No no no. You guys keep –
(to DAN)
You wanna show me?
DAN
Lemme show ya.
STEVE
Lemme take a look.
DAN
Show ya what we’re dealing with.
(DAN & STEVE exit out the back door.)
DAN
(overheard to STEVE, as they exit.)
Tell ya one thing though, it is hot out here.
(LENA fans herself. A little pause, then:)
LINDSEY
Now I don’t remember what we were – ?
TOM
Page three
LINDSEY
Right.
KATHY
Middle of three.
TOM
So. Knowing as we do that the height continues to be the sticking point – and by the way, the reason the petition was drawn up this way in the first place – I mean, nobody wants to be inflexible, but the idea was to set some basic guidelines whereby if, say, the height is the problem, like it is here, then one option would be to reduce the total exterior volume, like your husband was saying. And that’s the rationale behind the table at the bottom of the page. So what those figures mean, essentially, is that, with each additional foot of elevation beyond the maximum limit, there’d be a corresponding reduction in volume. And the numbers are based on the scale of the original structures, which is relatively consistent over the twelve-block radius, and of which this house is a fairly typical example. Now:
KATHY
Except we know they’re not.
TOM
Not what?
KATHY
Not consistent.
TOM
Saying relatively.
KATHY
A lotta variables.
TOM
We know that.
KATHY
(beginning a list)
The size of the lots, for starters?
TOM
Right, but –
KATHY
The year of construction?
TOM
Right, so the hope was that, by establishing a couple of regulations up front, hopefully we avoid this kinda situation in the future, ’cause, obviously, it’s a pain in the ass for everybody. Now, assuming the Landmarks Committee passes this part of the petition next week –
KATHY
Assuming.
TOM
Safe assumption.
KATHY
And if the Landmarks Committee really wants to pick that fight with the Zoning Department that is their business, but that’s a matter of if and when.
TOM
(to LINDSEY)
Why is this confrontational?
KATHY
Because somebody might’ve raised these issues when the plans went to the Zoning Department five months ago.
LINDSEY
Kathy
KATHY
I mean, no one had any objection back then.
LINDSEY
(to KEVIN and LENA)
Can I say? We talked about renovation. We discussed it. Because these houses are son charming and I know it’s a shame – but when you figure in the crack in the sub-floor and the cost of the lead abatement –and in a market like this one? It just made more sense to start from scratch.
(TOM’s cell rings. He tries to ignore it.)
TOM
Right. But: the Owners Association has a vested interest – Kevin and Lena call me up last month, they say Tom, we’ve got this problem, these people are planning to build a house that’s a full fifteen feet taller than all the adjacent structures –
LINDSEY
Nooo … fifteen? Is that right?
KATHY
It’s exactly what the block is zoned for, Tom.
TOM
(continuous)
– and I think we’d all agree that there’s a mutual benefit to maintaining the integrity– (glances at his phone) – the architectural integrity –
LINDSEY
Wanna get that?
TOM
– of a historically significant – god damn it – neighborhood. (answering) Yeah?
(STEVE returns, as TOM talks on the phone, leaving the kitchen door open.)
TOM
(into phone)
Yeah, okay, but don’t call me with that in the middle of a Satur– ? Well, then give it to Marla. Because it’s Marla’s account. Well, where the fuck is Mar– ?
(to the others)
Sorry.
(TOM crosses the room to take the call.)
STEVE
What’s happening?
LINDSEY
I don’t know.
LENA
You know, it might be a good idea if we all turned off our phones.
LINDSEY
Excellent idea.
KEVIN
(to STEVE)
Get your problem solved?
STEVE
Did what?
KEVIN
Out back.
STEVE
Yeah, I dunno. They hit something.
LINDSEY
What something?
STEVE
I dunno.
LINDSEY
Something dangerous?
STEVE
I dunno.
LINDSEY
Is it going to explode?
STEVE
It’s not –
(to KEVIN)
– We’re putting in a koi pond, and there’s a filtration system that has to hook into to the municipal – anyway, they ran into some kind of – whatever. So whatzit, page three?
KEVIN
But maybe wait for Tom?
STEVE
(with a laugh and a shrug)
… standing right there.
KEVIN
If we’re getting into the legal stuff?